Saturday, May 31, 2008

My Temperament part 2

Did you read my ramblings the other day? I think, since I may say so myself, that everyone can always strive to communicate better in every relationship. It can be easy to justify stunted growth, blaming the other person - after all.. if they aren't willing to grow and work towards better communication you can't help that right? So you stay where you are, often repeating the same old cycles over and over and over. Sure - I know communication is a 2 way street. But sometimes we need to lay our pride down and be the first one to start the traffic flowing again down that two way street, be the first to make strides towards good communication. But boy is that hard! And sometimes.. it makes you sound like a robot :

""I. Feel. Like. I'm. Being. Picked. On." Yes, I said it choppy like that."

But that was part 1.

I had this huge revelation about approval the other day in mulling over communication, and how hearing someone out can be completely related to our self image.

For instance, if I'm uncertain in my status with how God views me and with how my husband views me, I feel this need to defend myself - to explain myself to gain my husband's approval. I know this from experience.

I had this revelation the other day in journaling some thoughts out to the Lord that I have lived quite often a life of apologetic need to others.

Meaning that, I find myself striving and trying, yet constantly apologizing. Feeling as though I need to let them know that I know I'm not enough and am truly sorry for it.

That is not the life Christ died for. Remember Galatians 5:1 "It was for freedom that Christ has set us free." It wasn't so that I could constantly beat myself up for not staying in touch better with friends, not being able to work into my schedule being on the church cleaning list, not keeping a Martha Stewart picture perfect home, not being able to be the mom who homeschools AND does all the field trips + soccer, ballet, gymnastics and cub scouts.

Christ set me free... for freedom. Imagine that.

Here all this time I struggle, feeling this need to apologize for not being enough. And He died to be enough for me. So all I have to do is... be myself.

Wow. That's amazing isn't it?

Once you know you are approved of by God, the freedom just rushes in. Accept it! Live it! The peace is wonderful.

How does this tie into communication? It's amazing that once you know that you are enough because Christ says so, you stop feeling the need to jump so quick to defend yourself, to explain away. You can confidently sit and listen to someone share what's on their heart without the need to show them how they're wrong.

Have you accepted the freedom that Christ set you free for? Are you confident in His approval of you?


Erin said...

I totally agree with you on this one. There would be a lot less contention in the world if everyone got this point!

Being a high school teacher, I can see the struggle some of my students have at times... wanting to be good in class, but at the same time wanting to be the class clown.

Whether as a high school student or as an adult in a relationship I think there is something inside of all of us that wants others to notice how "right" we are or how "cool" we are.

It takes a humble person to be able to (as you mentioned) sit back and listen to what other have to say.

It's a great lesson to be learned!

Thanks for the post!

Jenn said...

I tend to be an apoligizer by nature, also! I just want everyone to like me:) Anyway, this is a great post!