Agree with God

I have several thoughts simmering right now for things I want to post here... (including participating in the Frugal Cooking Carnival later today) but we've got a lot to do, errands, co-op, and even a wedding later... ACK I start getting a little flustered with days like today.

But I wanted to stop to take a moment to share a little something that has changed my life and my walk with God. As a Christian for a long time I've experienced highs and lows in my relationship with the Lord, of course not because of anything on His part :-) I remember the frustration of the feelings of letting the Lord down through actions, or even just in negligence in my quiet time. I carried a lot of feelings of disappointed expectations from others into my thoughts on how the Lord saw me. I would wonder at my own commitment in the times where there was high stress without any inner peace. Why would the peace evade me? What was it I was always doing wrong?

My own personal journey in peace, lasting peace, unending, soul settling, mind transforming inner peace (enough descriptions yet?) began over a year ago. I slowly started to understand a little bit of the picture of who I was in Christ, because of Christ how God saw me, and how I can now confidently live. I read a few books that tickled my brain with thoughts of full redemption that I could not truly understand. God was doing a new work in me.

One of my dearest friends, and a close mentor over the years, sat down with me (via telephone) as we hashed out a few things. She said to me "Katie.. deep down there's an insecurity you've carried over the years. It effects every relationship you have. You have a deep need to be validated by people. If they accuse you, you're desperate to be your own vindicator - feeling a requirement and pressure to explain yourself. You're gasping for air, drowning in the expectations you try to live up to for everyone else." What?

What? Again, I say, What? I'm insecure??? I'm one of the most confident people I know! Or so I thought. I mulled it over. The first time I was accused of something I stopped, took a deep breath, and said "Well... that's not what I meant. Though I am sorry that you feel that way. Would you like some coffee?" Now I'm at a new place of being able to communicate better under pressure (sometimes) but that was a major step for me. That step being - DO NOT TAKE THE BAIT.

I could stop defending myself. That wasn't necessary. The work has been accomplished, people. Christ HAS in fact died on the cross for all my faults and flaws and there IS a work in process, all the time, every day.

My friend then started working on a special calling. She's in the midst of writing a book that I cannot wait to get my hands on, called Agree with God. It's about seeing yourself through His eyes. The best part of the news of her book was that while she's completing it, she has selected an excerpt from the book as an e-course. It's called 7 Steps to Peace, Power, and Prosperity. The format is awesome as she e-mails you 1 of the steps each day. It's great that way, in my opinion, because instead of doing some reading someday and forgetting the rest, or cheating and skipping ahead ;-) (who's known to do that?! Certainly not me!), you are focusing on 1 step each day and creating some GREAT new habits for yourself.. not to mention ditching some old ones you've carried along with you long enough.

I encourage you to head over to Maryann's blog for some good reading here and there. But more importantly, even if you've been a Christian a long time like myself, do the e-course. What could it hurt? Who DOESN'T want more peace?

Oh yeah... and after completing the e-course let me tell you how my walk with the Lord has flourished! I hear Him speak to me all the time. There is a dynamite relationship! I do find time to spend with Him each day, which used to be a struggle. Most importantly, I understand who I am and how He really views me. It's not overly intense to do the e-course, it's not a huge commitment, but it is mind, heart, and life changing. I hope you try it!


P.S. - Maryann did not put me up to this.. hehe. I hope you don't mind me promoting you so much, MA!