I received some comments bringing out various points of the post and a couple of e-mails. I appreciate that in a topic (family) that's heatedly controversial everyone contributed such good thoughts in a polite way. Which brings me to today... I'll see if I can get lucky like that twice ;-)
I've tried to do a quick scan over things I've written to see if I've really touched on the subject at all. I mean, obviously - we're a "large" family by the average American's standards. I've written about many aspects of having a large family, and all the attention it brings. But people think 1 of 2 things about us:
1) We don't know where kids come from.
2) We must be some kind of religious fanatics.
We both came from large families and wanted a large family because we plain ol' liked it. In fact, when we were first married it was weird, we'd sit around saying "When is the noise coming?"
Believe me. The noise has arrived.
Around the birth of child #3 there was discussion about what exactly wanting a large family meant for us. After child #4 I was still game, but my husband wasn't sure. Then, surprise! Child #5 came along. And while I was pregnant for child #5 we started having some second thoughts about things we were sure of. We started questioning what was the motivating reason behind decisions we made. What faith meant for us. There was so much that I can't even begin to go into detail. If you're all interested, I can write more.
But today, I wanted to share some books with you that we read that really impacted us about family and faith. I won't write about them except to say, I liked them. They are good reads. They are challenging. You might not agree with them all, but they are thought provoking. I'd love to do book studies on these with other people if there were ever others interested.
Without further ado, here they are. Share your thoughts on them if you've read them and if not, please give a few of them a try and tell me what you think!
6 comments:
I've read the last three books. I'll have to get ahold of the first one. Between every pregnancy, I struggle, and we as a couple struggle, with what we really believe about having a large family. It sure isn't easy in today's world with all the negative ideas about having more than 2 kids!
We have come a long way in trusting God with this issue, though. We started out our marriage wanting a few kids...sometime. Within 2 months, we were pregnant with a baby that I lost. Really made us think about how the real controller of life is not us or "the pill" or whatever...BUT GOD! So we changed our thinking and the first 2 kids came along.
Hmmm...things were getting hectic around our little house so what do we do now? We prayed and prayed and talked and talked and decided nothing had changed on God's end so why should it change on ours. Then came #3 and now #4.
I love my life and my family and yet I still struggle with giving it all over to God. I'd love to hear more about your faith journey. It is encouraging to hear from others who are traveling the same path!
Katie- My husband and I would love to have a large family...we already have 3, but maybe one or two more biologically, and then adopt? We'll see, and obviously we'll continue to seek God about this. But, its sad...the only thing that ever causes me to doubt or hesitate our decision to have a large family is other peoples opinions. I think that is my issue and I need to get over it. I guess I feel the need to be the "perfect family" to show everyone that just because you have a lot of kids doesn't mean they are out of control and I'm frazzled. Do you ever feel that way?
-Jen : )
I haven't read any of the suggested books. My husband is from a family of 6 and I, 3 - we talked a lot about "how many" before we were married. 2 wasn't enough, 3 there's an odd man out, so 4 is where we settled. I have to say that today with 4 our family is complete - I don't always feel put together, but most days are good days. And I love love love being a mommy!
Hmm, I am one of four and even back in the 1980's it was looked on as slightly odd to have a large family! If I ever have children I think that I would stick to two unless God decreed otherwise!!
Last week, I bought the last three. I haven't heard of the first one, but I'll check it out! "Be Fruitful and Multiply" is due to arrive tomorrow. I'm excited to read these books. I told you this a while back - but it's like, now that I've solidified how I feel about family size, I think it's going to be really beneficial to find out what God says about it and why it matters. The conviction is there, but I want the scriptural truths. All of them. You know?
:)
Dave and I have and still are struggling with this one. We've had a number (over 3 at least?) very negative comments about my being pregnant again, the 7th time even though this will be #3. And that isn't counting those that say, "Oh that's right you wanted a big family. I suppose you'll get #4 out of the way quickly too so you can get on with life?" While, yes we are planing on having #4 quickly as well if that is what God allows I feel like it is a decision that has been made on our end.And it also seems pushy and presumptuous. At this point it is truly a search for us. Luckily, a "decision" will not need to be agreed and acted on for over a year! We have time to search and grapple before the imaginary deadline arrives. =)
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