Calling

I think that every mom of young children can relate to the feeling of one day blending into the next, the hopeless feeling of laundry never ending, dishes constantly dirtied, diapers, diapers, diapers, and wondering if she'll ever get a full night of sleep.

I remember a few years into motherhood thinking "I'm just the maid." Or "My time is unimportant" or "Does it really matter if I totally clean the kitchen after breakfast? In 2 hours it'll be dirty again."

It would sometimes be hard to rise and shine with a smile on my face knowing there was more work than I had time or energy to accomplish it.. wondering how I was supposed to "do it all" and if I would ever be accomplishing anything of significance.

Well.. those moments that felt so small added up into months, and now here we are a few years later. Of course I knew I was important and the little things I did truly ministered to my family. I had the capability of making our home a place of refuge for all who were there.

Even when you know these things, it becomes a different sort of understanding when you have the awakening moment when you see the fruits of your labors.

Yesterday I was sitting with Isaac - teaching him to read! That's such a big deal, a huge moment in his life as it opens up endless possibilities to him. He's getting impatient white working on phonics and asking me "Can't you just teach me to read?? I'm tired of sounds!!" :-) He'll make the connection soon enough.

Also yesterday, Giovanna and I had a long discussion about Jesus, forgiveness, and living the way He wants us to after she admitted to a lie. She was asking DEEP questions for a four year old. As I answered her honestly she wanted to pray to ask God to help her to keep from lying and to forgive her for doing something that He doesn't want her to do. It was profound... I'm not sure I always think to remember to ask for forgiveness for the things I justify (losing my patience, judgmental thoughts, etc) and my little girl reminded me of how we have to always keep our hearts open before the Lord.

I realized I, the one who really doesn't feel qualified for all of this, am called to these every day moments. The moments that are insignificant.. because they add up to those moments - the moments of teaching. From teaching how to read, to teaching how to be forgiven - washed white as snow, to teaching morning chores, to teaching how to live by God's word.

And my example in the every day moments, the ones that I thought weren't amounting to much, is teaching.

Wow.