Quick! Turn off the lights, and lock the door!

That's my gut reaction about 80% of the week. Only 20% of the week can I keep my house worthy of a "drop in without calling" visit - and that's on a good week. I know this will get better as the baby gets older, and more like when my children move out of the house.

I always thought I didn't like gravel driveways - but now I love mine. It offers that ability of being able to hear the crunching of the stones as a car pulls in. That, or the hum of a motor, or worse - not hearing either of those things - and the doorbell all cause me to panic "Maybe they won't know I'm here!!" Of course the shrieks of laughter, lights, and van in the driveway give it all away.

When we first moved in we happened to be acquaintances with out neighbors across the street (actually a field is across the street, they're sort of diagonal). They invited us over once, and we went - it was lovely. And we've bumped into each other outside several times. A couple of times when they knew Jake was out of town in the winter her husband plowed my driveway. Nice people. When we first got together, they said stop by any time and I know they mean it.

I said it reciprocally. But on my way back home do you know what I do? I panic. What if they DO stop by?! Remember the 80:20 principal. And I have not had a good week. For the record, I have stopped by their place to either drop something off or I couldn't reach her by phone to say "Your dog is over here" and they always say "Oh come in come in" and they don't have the 80:20 thing going on. Her house is immaculately beautiful, not to mention well decorated (a gift I seem to lack). They have 1 child, I have 5. I know you big family people know what I'm facing here, but I stress at the thought of the 1 child family just stop on by for a visit.

Well tonight.. the doorbell rings "Oh gosh" I think as I look around. How do I explain I've been sick? What do I do? Do I not answer it? I don't see a car in the driveway, maybe I can pretend they aren't there. But I know it's not right, I can't ignore my lovely neighbors, so I open the door.

There's a young girl at my door asking "Are you getting rid of the bassinet? May I take it?" Oh yeah, earlier I see that when Jake cleaned the garage yesterday he put the bassinet out by the road. We don't use it, but I intended to SELL it.. it's in great shape. I planned on going outside once the kids were in bed to retrieve it.

The instant she asks I feel the Holy Spirit say "YES." So I say "Yes, you may take it." And she says "Thank you so much!" and jogs off to her vehicle. I shut the door and feel "She needs your help." And I realize, all these years of hiding out in my imperfect house.. I've lacked some good neighborly communication skills.

I look out the window and she's just gotten it over to her car. So I remember "The sheets!" Run to my linen closet and get them, the run back out to tell her "Wait! Do you want the sheets to go with it?" She enthusiastically says "Yes, thank you!"

So I go back inside just to see her struggle to try to fit it in her car. I put my boots on (yeah, the first time I went in my bare feet and stepped on a thorny branch, argh! Thanks for trimming the bushes, honey!!) and went out to show her how to take it apart. I asked "Is it for you?"

She said yes, shyly, that she's due in September. I said "Congratulations!" knowing that single mom's don't get a lot of that, and I can safely say I think she's young enough to be a single mom. I asked "Do you live nearby?" She said she lives just up the road with her mom. (up the road isn't a very nice living area, actually.. we're about a mile away from there and it's a drastic difference) She thanks me for the bassinet. I'm at a loss because I feel like I should offer to help some how and I'm stumped being there in the moment. So I said "I just had a baby in January, plus I have a few other kids. If you ever want to bring your baby over to play with some kids, feel free!" She smiled and said "OK" probably thinking this woman is crazy (and she's right). And that's the best I did.

I feel happy that she was blessed with the bassinet, and I'm sure she's excited right now with a practically new bassinet for free. But I'm so frustrated that I couldn't even think of simple questions like "Is this your first? I have some extra baby clothes, would you like me to bring them by sometime?" Nope. Just.. "uuuhm...." goes through my mind.

And of course, now she may just stop by without warning!