Winning

Some people thrive under pressure. I, for one, want to take a nap when I start getting stressed out. Well... ok.. you got me, I just want to take a nap all the time. Shiloh still doesn't sleep through the night. Some day when she does sleep through the whole night there will be a party thrown in honor of the rare full night's sleep. I know Tara knows what I'm talking about.

I've decided to become educated. I would say I've been educated before, but having 5 kids in 6 years may or may not have done enough brain damage to remove the previous education.. I'm not sure yet. I suppose we'll find out as I study. Either way, I do not have any college education.

Last November was momentous for me because I actually chose a field that I would want to earn a degree in. That was a big problem for me when I graduated from high school. I just couldn't decide what would be worth studying. I don't know if this was because I thought I should be certain before footing the bill for my own college education, or if it was because I graduated at 17 and I wasn't ready to make that choice, or if it was because I thought (at that time) college was overrated.

In any case, I learned about CollegePlus! a coaching system that helps you achieve your bachelor's degree in less time, which is good considering how old I am to be starting at the beginning of this degree thing. After I earn my bachelor's I plan to apply to Graduate school in my home city here to study Physical Therapy.

Yeah. I know. It's a long road even without 5 kids. But it will be worth it. I'm very excited.

Anyway, CollegePlus! was having an essay contest in which your essay would win a scholarship for a year of free tuition if selected. I immediately started doing my research and put together a few different outlines based on different thesis statements. I started working on a rough draft and was doodling at it from night to night. My sister, a graduating English major, was going to proof it for me when I was finished.

Then... the pressure. Wednesday I got an e-mail at 10 pm reminding me the essay was due at midnight. WHAT?! I thought for sure I had read it to mean it wasn't due for another week after that. I panicked. I wasn't ready. I wasn't going to be able to have my sister proof read it. It was going to be rushed, not how I wanted it, and I was not confident.

At 10 pm the answer seemed obvious "Go to bed. You won't do a good enough job to win." Then some stubborn part of me thought, if I don't even try.. of course I won't win. As my late grandmother always used to say "You got to be in it to win it!" So, I polished it off and sent it in with a few minutes to spare.

Guess what? I didn't win. But I was SO PROUD of myself for not giving up. That the pressure came and I pressed on. And while I didn't win, they said they were very pleased with my essay and the research done and offered me a small discount off my tuition.

All in all, I felt like a winner.